Yesterday was quite interesting. I had fun Happy Hour plans made with someone I was intrigued to catch up with. This was someone I had had a slight romantic interest in before I left for Europe and while I had seen him since coming back, we had not really had any one-on-one time to catch up and figure out where we now fit into each other's lives... if at all.
So we had a little soiree built for two starting at 5PM, and a very fun place that I had picked. To be honest, after my last time seeing this guy I was slightly more excited about the fun happy hour plan than listening to him talk about himself. But everyone has their moments of being less cool than they really are, so I was open to give him a second chance.
When he needed to push it back to 5:30PM, I was not thrilled but flexible. When he needed to push back to 5:45PM I was annoyed. When we finally met up after 6PM, and the place was too packed to stay, I was less than estatic. It was up to this guy to be the star of happy hour, and I just wasn't sure he had that ability.
You are probably wondering why I am even bothering to hang out with someone that I think is less than par. And the answer is this: at some point there was potential. And while I had not seen said potential since my arrival back to the States (I had only seen him once, and I thought maybe he was having an off-day) I figure a second chance is not such a bad thing.
Well, dear Paige, guess again.
This was one Happy Hour that was not so happy. The conversation was dry. He didn't have anything interesting to say that wasn't about him and his seemingly important life. He wanted the discussion to circle around dating -- who I was dating, who he was dating, and whether or not we would date each other. He thought being obnoxious was the way to go, vs. being kind and polite and having fun together. I wanted a real conversation with a real person. He wanted a conversation with someone who thought he was cool. Unfortunately, I was not that person.
As we wondering back to the West Village in search of a better place than we had been previously, it dawned on me that I really did not like him. I didn't feel good around him. I didn't think he was special. And there were 10,000 things I had rather be doing than floating around downtown Manhattan with him. Sure, there was a day when we got along fabulously and it seemed we were quite smitten with each other, but that day had long past. And now, today, some random Friday in June, I had had enough of his ego, I had had enough of his khaki pants, and I had had enough of thinking there was more to him than there really was.
So when he wanted to know whether we were going to date this summer, the answer was something like this... N-O. I had much rather leave the door open for something new and something different, than keep waiting for him to walk through the door with something more. His one tune has more than been played out, and it was time to put that 'single' in the bin bound for goodwill.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Cleaning Out Complications
As I clean out more and more stuff from my life that I don't want, I realize that there are more than just tangible items that need to be cleaned out as well.
This morning I took three huge bins of trash and unwanted items to the trash heap in my new building. And as I cleaned out those items from my apartment last night I thought a little too much about the men of March, April and May, and realized I needed to do some clearing out there too. Static energy is just not good for the soul, so I had to shake it up and get those thoughts just as organized as my closet.
Part of this "reorganization" stems from wanting to find a path forward vs. swimming in circles with thoughts from the past few months.
One of the greatest lessons of life from my travels, is that good relationships are easy. It doesn't take much to relate to those we care about and want to relate too. The difficulty comes in the personal expectations we establish, the life situations that arise, the occasional confusion that comes from communication going awry. But overall, relating should be easy. Or at least that is what I have discovered recently.
However getting back to the city returned me to a overly complicated situation, and fresh off the plane I could not make heads or tails with the signals I was getting. So I just stopped trying to figure it out. Complicated things tend to only get more complicated, and I wasn't signing up for that non-sense again.
As I think about relating and a fun summer in NYC, I like that I have a blank canvas to play with. And while I am not so sure I would welcome a full-on relationship right now, I am always looking for someone to play with. (I say this in the most innocent sense -- well, mostly.) Light and easy is my mode these days.
I think the one thing I crave right now -- other than Tasti-D-lite is a constant dialogue with someone. Most would call this a relationship, but for me its something a bit more specific. Dialogue is about two-way communication. You can't have a dialogue if one person is not participating. Dialogues are more constant, more aware, more meaningful. Yes, its conversing, but in a dialogue you are never left talking to yourself...someone always responds. When you reach out, they reach back. Should the other's world be a bit overbearing and he can't get reach back, they say that...simply.
For this reason, I have realized I am not, and don't like to be, a casual dater. If I am dating someone casually, then most likely, I don't really like them. Period. When I meet someone I like I want to immediate get the dialogue going and test the potential.
Therefore, I am not someone who sits around and comes to the conclusion that "i want a relationship", I find someone that I want to spend time with, and I do. Its simple. When I tire of it, I take a break, and sometimes come back to it, and sometimes not. I don't think relationships have to complicated in that way.
And yet so many people want to turn relating into a three-ring circus, with clowns and drama, and maybe an occasional elephant in the room. I just don't understand the point. With so many games and acrobats, how can you really relate to another person? How can it have any element of realness to it, or truth?
As I think about the past month, and the words that started my little romantical adventure with 'S'..."Guapisima, I like you." So simple. So sincere. So very 's'. That's all it took, and the dialogue began, so simply and complication-free.
Its those complication-free situations I seek. The ones that start simply. The ones that make you smile from a good place, without wondering what is really going on. The one where you can exchange info, and know you will hear from them. The ones that at the end of the day will always make you smile because someone wants to know you, someone wants you to know him, and someone really wants to have a dialogue...with you.
This morning I took three huge bins of trash and unwanted items to the trash heap in my new building. And as I cleaned out those items from my apartment last night I thought a little too much about the men of March, April and May, and realized I needed to do some clearing out there too. Static energy is just not good for the soul, so I had to shake it up and get those thoughts just as organized as my closet.
Part of this "reorganization" stems from wanting to find a path forward vs. swimming in circles with thoughts from the past few months.
One of the greatest lessons of life from my travels, is that good relationships are easy. It doesn't take much to relate to those we care about and want to relate too. The difficulty comes in the personal expectations we establish, the life situations that arise, the occasional confusion that comes from communication going awry. But overall, relating should be easy. Or at least that is what I have discovered recently.
However getting back to the city returned me to a overly complicated situation, and fresh off the plane I could not make heads or tails with the signals I was getting. So I just stopped trying to figure it out. Complicated things tend to only get more complicated, and I wasn't signing up for that non-sense again.
As I think about relating and a fun summer in NYC, I like that I have a blank canvas to play with. And while I am not so sure I would welcome a full-on relationship right now, I am always looking for someone to play with. (I say this in the most innocent sense -- well, mostly.) Light and easy is my mode these days.
I think the one thing I crave right now -- other than Tasti-D-lite is a constant dialogue with someone. Most would call this a relationship, but for me its something a bit more specific. Dialogue is about two-way communication. You can't have a dialogue if one person is not participating. Dialogues are more constant, more aware, more meaningful. Yes, its conversing, but in a dialogue you are never left talking to yourself...someone always responds. When you reach out, they reach back. Should the other's world be a bit overbearing and he can't get reach back, they say that...simply.
For this reason, I have realized I am not, and don't like to be, a casual dater. If I am dating someone casually, then most likely, I don't really like them. Period. When I meet someone I like I want to immediate get the dialogue going and test the potential.
Therefore, I am not someone who sits around and comes to the conclusion that "i want a relationship", I find someone that I want to spend time with, and I do. Its simple. When I tire of it, I take a break, and sometimes come back to it, and sometimes not. I don't think relationships have to complicated in that way.
And yet so many people want to turn relating into a three-ring circus, with clowns and drama, and maybe an occasional elephant in the room. I just don't understand the point. With so many games and acrobats, how can you really relate to another person? How can it have any element of realness to it, or truth?
As I think about the past month, and the words that started my little romantical adventure with 'S'..."Guapisima, I like you." So simple. So sincere. So very 's'. That's all it took, and the dialogue began, so simply and complication-free.
Its those complication-free situations I seek. The ones that start simply. The ones that make you smile from a good place, without wondering what is really going on. The one where you can exchange info, and know you will hear from them. The ones that at the end of the day will always make you smile because someone wants to know you, someone wants you to know him, and someone really wants to have a dialogue...with you.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Out with the old, and in with the new.
I love that today is June 1. I love that after two days of moving into my new apartment in NYC, I am starting work and my summer in the city today, on a 1st, with a start that is so promising.
After three months of travel, 10 weeks in Europe, 10 days in Jax Beach, I had two days of in-between-time. From "there" to "here". Getting back to NYC was a bit of a jostle to my system. Faces I had not seen in three months were back. Relationships that have had a questionmark hanging over them in my time away now needed an answer. Things I had not thought about in so long were now back with a vengence and I kept asking myself, 'is this really what I want?'
So how did I deal? Like any helpless romantic does. I played music from Feria, and songs I listened to during my joyous days in Spain. I perused fun photos from my fabulous adventure. And I found myself wanting to be back there -- with the people I loved, and the life I loved more.
New York can be a harsh reality for even the strongest of souls.
And then today I snapped out of it. Wanting to be "there" would only allow the potential of a fantabulous summer to elude me. Wanting to escape current situations would keep me from the "here" I have learned to seek. Failing to be honest with myself, and honest with those around me, would only layer on junk -- and my nomadic spirit just doesn't like to travel with too much baggage these days.
I am not going to do it all again. Repeat old patterns. Hold my tongue so I have a better vantage point. Be passive when there is something I so badly want to do. This time is different. Because I am different. The games of this city are not as much fun as they used to be. Real. Honest. True. That is all I seek these days. I can't live with less. And I know now I don't have to.
As a five hour siesta yesterday kept me awake at all hours, I pondered a situation that I had been mulling in my mind for a while now. And I asked myself, "what if I just threw it back?" Like a fish caught from the lake, that is decent in size, not the biggest and definitely not the best. Why hold on if I know I can have better? Sure, I will have to keep fishing... but on warm summer evenings is that really so bad?
Knowing that I don't have to keep what I don't want may be one of the greatest lessons of this year. Potential only goes so far. Half-way is still only half-way. And after sometime away from this silly little place, I know I will always want more than this city can offer.
Driving across the Williamsburg Bridge on Saturday I laughed as I felt I was gearing up to play a role in some gigantic movie set called "Manhattan". And maybe I always have played a 'role"have since I lived here. 'Southern belle takes on Manhattan', and of course I had the lead. Learning to do things the New York way. Obeying the social codes of the city. Following the direction of some imaginary producer that never really had my best interest at heart... and I asked myself again, "is this what you want?"
And the answer is no. I don't want what I did seven years ago when I moved here. This summer, I want my life -- the one I create, the one I direct -- in the city. The fantastic one I led in Spain and Italy, but with a different back drop. I did it there, I will do it here. I have learned that I can do anything I put my mind too. I can have everything I want. I just have to believe in something greater, somthing larger than Manhattan. And after being away for so long, I know that 'that something' is me.
Its going to be one hot summer that is for sure.
After three months of travel, 10 weeks in Europe, 10 days in Jax Beach, I had two days of in-between-time. From "there" to "here". Getting back to NYC was a bit of a jostle to my system. Faces I had not seen in three months were back. Relationships that have had a questionmark hanging over them in my time away now needed an answer. Things I had not thought about in so long were now back with a vengence and I kept asking myself, 'is this really what I want?'
So how did I deal? Like any helpless romantic does. I played music from Feria, and songs I listened to during my joyous days in Spain. I perused fun photos from my fabulous adventure. And I found myself wanting to be back there -- with the people I loved, and the life I loved more.
New York can be a harsh reality for even the strongest of souls.
And then today I snapped out of it. Wanting to be "there" would only allow the potential of a fantabulous summer to elude me. Wanting to escape current situations would keep me from the "here" I have learned to seek. Failing to be honest with myself, and honest with those around me, would only layer on junk -- and my nomadic spirit just doesn't like to travel with too much baggage these days.
I am not going to do it all again. Repeat old patterns. Hold my tongue so I have a better vantage point. Be passive when there is something I so badly want to do. This time is different. Because I am different. The games of this city are not as much fun as they used to be. Real. Honest. True. That is all I seek these days. I can't live with less. And I know now I don't have to.
As a five hour siesta yesterday kept me awake at all hours, I pondered a situation that I had been mulling in my mind for a while now. And I asked myself, "what if I just threw it back?" Like a fish caught from the lake, that is decent in size, not the biggest and definitely not the best. Why hold on if I know I can have better? Sure, I will have to keep fishing... but on warm summer evenings is that really so bad?
Knowing that I don't have to keep what I don't want may be one of the greatest lessons of this year. Potential only goes so far. Half-way is still only half-way. And after sometime away from this silly little place, I know I will always want more than this city can offer.
Driving across the Williamsburg Bridge on Saturday I laughed as I felt I was gearing up to play a role in some gigantic movie set called "Manhattan". And maybe I always have played a 'role"have since I lived here. 'Southern belle takes on Manhattan', and of course I had the lead. Learning to do things the New York way. Obeying the social codes of the city. Following the direction of some imaginary producer that never really had my best interest at heart... and I asked myself again, "is this what you want?"
And the answer is no. I don't want what I did seven years ago when I moved here. This summer, I want my life -- the one I create, the one I direct -- in the city. The fantastic one I led in Spain and Italy, but with a different back drop. I did it there, I will do it here. I have learned that I can do anything I put my mind too. I can have everything I want. I just have to believe in something greater, somthing larger than Manhattan. And after being away for so long, I know that 'that something' is me.
Its going to be one hot summer that is for sure.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Getting by with a little help from my friends...
A thought continues to reverberate in my mind this morning -- upon waking, during my run on the beach, and now having coffee as I look for an apartment and Eline works on a translation.
Who is it that helps you? Who is it you can count on? Where does your source of help come from?
As I ponder this question, and I think of it in tandem with my current journey, I am a bit shocked at the answer I get.
Its been made clear to me as I move through southern Europe that my source of help and aid isn´t exactly what I thought it was when I left. Friends -- or people I refer to as freinds -- simply haven´t been that. Faces that had a great meaning, have really lost their value. And my memories are being colored differently by the involvement and interaction of people in my life currently... not what I once knew.
When I put the pieces of my journey together, I see more clearly who it is that helps me, that loves me, and wants me to succeed --in my travels, in my life, etc. I see more and more how the energies of my past were spent in the wrong directions, chasing silly dreams because I could, not because I wanted to. Investing myself in people and places and situations that were not worthy of investment. Endlessly spinning my wheels and seven years later, realizing the faces I value have changed little... even in the vastness of NYC and all the people I have met.
Don´t get me wrong, there are many people I care about and continuously want the best for. There are plenty of people that I would aid in an instant. My travels have helped me realize who is worth doing that for, and that number is not as great as it once was.
As I sit in my friend Eline´s home in Rota, Spain this is all the more apparent. Her and her boyfriend Miguel, have more or less adopted me on my travels. It also helps that she and I get along like two peas in a pod. And that she and Miguel are THE MOST easy going people I have ever met. I met Eline through my friend Daphne in Holland, she and I spent a summer interning together in Orlando when I thought I wanted to be a cruise director (my, how dreams change!). Daphne and I stayed in touch and her and Eline met me in NYC two years ago. Since meeting Eline, she became part of my journey. Wanting to create a new bond, a new friendship, guided part of my journey... and while the help she has offered me has been astounding, its the friendship I pursued that let me here.
Sandra joined me to celebrate what I anticipated a difficult day - then, but when it arrived I didn´t even realize it hit... until two days later when we celebrated her birthday. Some things truly belong in the past... and I am so glad to have a friend like her to move into the next phase of my life with.
A dear friend in NYC gave me all the contacts she knew in Spain, plus some great tunes on my journey. And many thoughtful and "go get`em girl" emails to persuade me in the "life is now" direction. (Sarah, you rock!) And the other NYC friends that have help my journey be my journey and loved me along the way. THANK YOU.
And my family and dearest friends have given their unyielding support of my travels and pursuit of finding my most passionate and honest self...and I have good news to report!
Friends are not a dime a dozen... maybe on Facebook, but in real life, to have one is it to have plenty. And in this world where talk is cheap and good relationships are hard to come by, less definitely is more. My friends these days may be few, but because they are who they are I truly feel like the richest person I know.
Thank you dear souls who have touched my life and made me more through knowing you, I can only hope that I have left the positive imprint on your life as you have mine.
Who is it that helps you? Who is it you can count on? Where does your source of help come from?
As I ponder this question, and I think of it in tandem with my current journey, I am a bit shocked at the answer I get.
Its been made clear to me as I move through southern Europe that my source of help and aid isn´t exactly what I thought it was when I left. Friends -- or people I refer to as freinds -- simply haven´t been that. Faces that had a great meaning, have really lost their value. And my memories are being colored differently by the involvement and interaction of people in my life currently... not what I once knew.
When I put the pieces of my journey together, I see more clearly who it is that helps me, that loves me, and wants me to succeed --in my travels, in my life, etc. I see more and more how the energies of my past were spent in the wrong directions, chasing silly dreams because I could, not because I wanted to. Investing myself in people and places and situations that were not worthy of investment. Endlessly spinning my wheels and seven years later, realizing the faces I value have changed little... even in the vastness of NYC and all the people I have met.
Don´t get me wrong, there are many people I care about and continuously want the best for. There are plenty of people that I would aid in an instant. My travels have helped me realize who is worth doing that for, and that number is not as great as it once was.
As I sit in my friend Eline´s home in Rota, Spain this is all the more apparent. Her and her boyfriend Miguel, have more or less adopted me on my travels. It also helps that she and I get along like two peas in a pod. And that she and Miguel are THE MOST easy going people I have ever met. I met Eline through my friend Daphne in Holland, she and I spent a summer interning together in Orlando when I thought I wanted to be a cruise director (my, how dreams change!). Daphne and I stayed in touch and her and Eline met me in NYC two years ago. Since meeting Eline, she became part of my journey. Wanting to create a new bond, a new friendship, guided part of my journey... and while the help she has offered me has been astounding, its the friendship I pursued that let me here.
Sandra joined me to celebrate what I anticipated a difficult day - then, but when it arrived I didn´t even realize it hit... until two days later when we celebrated her birthday. Some things truly belong in the past... and I am so glad to have a friend like her to move into the next phase of my life with.
A dear friend in NYC gave me all the contacts she knew in Spain, plus some great tunes on my journey. And many thoughtful and "go get`em girl" emails to persuade me in the "life is now" direction. (Sarah, you rock!) And the other NYC friends that have help my journey be my journey and loved me along the way. THANK YOU.
And my family and dearest friends have given their unyielding support of my travels and pursuit of finding my most passionate and honest self...and I have good news to report!
Friends are not a dime a dozen... maybe on Facebook, but in real life, to have one is it to have plenty. And in this world where talk is cheap and good relationships are hard to come by, less definitely is more. My friends these days may be few, but because they are who they are I truly feel like the richest person I know.
Thank you dear souls who have touched my life and made me more through knowing you, I can only hope that I have left the positive imprint on your life as you have mine.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Its official!
I am running the NYC Marathon on November 1, 2009! I signed-up today and could not be more excited with this decision. While away I have been loving these long runs in warm temperatures. (Sarah -- your running mix is amazing!) So why not?
For once I have no reason not to do so.
In 2007, I had a wedding on Sanibel Island to attend.
In 2008, I developed this bizarre allergy/asthma disorder.
And now, I am free. Of plans, of asthma, of any reason to keep me from running... except my fabulous Halloween costume I was already considering for this year, but I will figure that out... but I am running! Official training begins manana!
For once I have no reason not to do so.
In 2007, I had a wedding on Sanibel Island to attend.
In 2008, I developed this bizarre allergy/asthma disorder.
And now, I am free. Of plans, of asthma, of any reason to keep me from running... except my fabulous Halloween costume I was already considering for this year, but I will figure that out... but I am running! Official training begins manana!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Disconnecting
As the sun has now moved into Aries, and a new astrological year has begun, I am feeling the need to restart a few things in my own life. And I am truly ready to do so.
While I am on the road, and living out of a suitcase, my life often feels very much in transit. And it is. But I think thats what I bargained for when I asked those I love most to allow me to be a nomad in 2009. (truly, be careful what you wish for...)
Each day that passes, I think of those I care about in both the North and South. I miss them all dearly.
I believe my family understands, minus the youngest member, Mr. Ramsey. And that I hate most, as there are so many things of his life right now that I am missing, and I do hope he doesn't forget who is Aunt Paige is.
My friends in NYC, both new and old, there have been days I wish I could "pop over" for an afternoon of good conversation and laughter before resuming my journey on this side of the pond. Europe is a very different place, and every weekend morning I wish I was reading the paper or enjoying "storytime" at Vbar...with some REAL coffee, and not the double espresso I have adopted since being here.
Its tough, as I am doing exactly what I want to be doing. And in doing so, I know I am missing out on being a part of lives that I so dearly want to share in. I guess you really can't have it both ways.
I don't want to lose touch as I take this time for myself. But in taking time for myself, I need to make sure that "myself" gets what she needs out of this time. And so I must do what I need to do...to ensure that when I get back to the good ole USofA, I am ready to be apart of things again and not always have one foot out the door --that's what got me here in the first place, and I have never believed in repeats.
So as I delve into new beginnings with Aries, and the "bullish" days of Taurus that are sure to come my way, a part of me is looking forward to the day when the sun moves into Gemini, the sign of friendship and conversation, and I can't wait to relish in both... on that side of the pond.
Until then, I best be packing, I have an early train to catch manana.
While I am on the road, and living out of a suitcase, my life often feels very much in transit. And it is. But I think thats what I bargained for when I asked those I love most to allow me to be a nomad in 2009. (truly, be careful what you wish for...)
Each day that passes, I think of those I care about in both the North and South. I miss them all dearly.
I believe my family understands, minus the youngest member, Mr. Ramsey. And that I hate most, as there are so many things of his life right now that I am missing, and I do hope he doesn't forget who is Aunt Paige is.
My friends in NYC, both new and old, there have been days I wish I could "pop over" for an afternoon of good conversation and laughter before resuming my journey on this side of the pond. Europe is a very different place, and every weekend morning I wish I was reading the paper or enjoying "storytime" at Vbar...with some REAL coffee, and not the double espresso I have adopted since being here.
Its tough, as I am doing exactly what I want to be doing. And in doing so, I know I am missing out on being a part of lives that I so dearly want to share in. I guess you really can't have it both ways.
I don't want to lose touch as I take this time for myself. But in taking time for myself, I need to make sure that "myself" gets what she needs out of this time. And so I must do what I need to do...to ensure that when I get back to the good ole USofA, I am ready to be apart of things again and not always have one foot out the door --that's what got me here in the first place, and I have never believed in repeats.
So as I delve into new beginnings with Aries, and the "bullish" days of Taurus that are sure to come my way, a part of me is looking forward to the day when the sun moves into Gemini, the sign of friendship and conversation, and I can't wait to relish in both... on that side of the pond.
Until then, I best be packing, I have an early train to catch manana.
Monday, March 23, 2009
A New Leaf
Since the year began, I have been loving being online and having an outlet for my thoughts. Being both extrovert and introvert, I like being heard without making a big deal out of it. Blogging meets that need. I realize some of my topics probably should not have made into public view, but it was an outlet I needed at the time, so I don't really make excuses...only apologies to anyone who read something they would have preferred not to read.
In reading through past bloggings, I realize they were interlaced with so many excuses and attempts at trying to explain the life I had chosen. They were "propagandish" in trying to convince people (readers) I was happy. There was an element of "fake" to it, and well, I tend to prefer "authentic".
Alot has changed in my life since I started blogging in February 2008, all changes I am grateful for. I will not hesitate to tell anyone "my life rocks!", and I truly believe it does. But that doesn't say its been without challenges or difficult times. I do believe that life cannot truly "rock" without having to face adversity and the less desireable times. We get through them, we learn, we grow, and I like to say, "we turnover a new page"... and I guess in my case its a "new Paige".
Well, here is my 'new Paige'. Its still my story and musings on life, just in a new venue. Its still me, just hopefully a little wiser, a little stronger, and a little more sure of what she wants in life.
If you found me here, I am sure you are someone I would want reading. So please enjoy. And if you have something to say, I love comments, so please share.
In reading through past bloggings, I realize they were interlaced with so many excuses and attempts at trying to explain the life I had chosen. They were "propagandish" in trying to convince people (readers) I was happy. There was an element of "fake" to it, and well, I tend to prefer "authentic".
Alot has changed in my life since I started blogging in February 2008, all changes I am grateful for. I will not hesitate to tell anyone "my life rocks!", and I truly believe it does. But that doesn't say its been without challenges or difficult times. I do believe that life cannot truly "rock" without having to face adversity and the less desireable times. We get through them, we learn, we grow, and I like to say, "we turnover a new page"... and I guess in my case its a "new Paige".
Well, here is my 'new Paige'. Its still my story and musings on life, just in a new venue. Its still me, just hopefully a little wiser, a little stronger, and a little more sure of what she wants in life.
If you found me here, I am sure you are someone I would want reading. So please enjoy. And if you have something to say, I love comments, so please share.
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