Saturday, May 2, 2009

Getting by with a little help from my friends...

A thought continues to reverberate in my mind this morning -- upon waking, during my run on the beach, and now having coffee as I look for an apartment and Eline works on a translation.

Who is it that helps you? Who is it you can count on? Where does your source of help come from?

As I ponder this question, and I think of it in tandem with my current journey, I am a bit shocked at the answer I get.

Its been made clear to me as I move through southern Europe that my source of help and aid isn´t exactly what I thought it was when I left. Friends -- or people I refer to as freinds -- simply haven´t been that. Faces that had a great meaning, have really lost their value. And my memories are being colored differently by the involvement and interaction of people in my life currently... not what I once knew.

When I put the pieces of my journey together, I see more clearly who it is that helps me, that loves me, and wants me to succeed --in my travels, in my life, etc. I see more and more how the energies of my past were spent in the wrong directions, chasing silly dreams because I could, not because I wanted to. Investing myself in people and places and situations that were not worthy of investment. Endlessly spinning my wheels and seven years later, realizing the faces I value have changed little... even in the vastness of NYC and all the people I have met.

Don´t get me wrong, there are many people I care about and continuously want the best for. There are plenty of people that I would aid in an instant. My travels have helped me realize who is worth doing that for, and that number is not as great as it once was.

As I sit in my friend Eline´s home in Rota, Spain this is all the more apparent. Her and her boyfriend Miguel, have more or less adopted me on my travels. It also helps that she and I get along like two peas in a pod. And that she and Miguel are THE MOST easy going people I have ever met. I met Eline through my friend Daphne in Holland, she and I spent a summer interning together in Orlando when I thought I wanted to be a cruise director (my, how dreams change!). Daphne and I stayed in touch and her and Eline met me in NYC two years ago. Since meeting Eline, she became part of my journey. Wanting to create a new bond, a new friendship, guided part of my journey... and while the help she has offered me has been astounding, its the friendship I pursued that let me here.

Sandra joined me to celebrate what I anticipated a difficult day - then, but when it arrived I didn´t even realize it hit... until two days later when we celebrated her birthday. Some things truly belong in the past... and I am so glad to have a friend like her to move into the next phase of my life with.

A dear friend in NYC gave me all the contacts she knew in Spain, plus some great tunes on my journey. And many thoughtful and "go get`em girl" emails to persuade me in the "life is now" direction. (Sarah, you rock!) And the other NYC friends that have help my journey be my journey and loved me along the way. THANK YOU.

And my family and dearest friends have given their unyielding support of my travels and pursuit of finding my most passionate and honest self...and I have good news to report!

Friends are not a dime a dozen... maybe on Facebook, but in real life, to have one is it to have plenty. And in this world where talk is cheap and good relationships are hard to come by, less definitely is more. My friends these days may be few, but because they are who they are I truly feel like the richest person I know.

Thank you dear souls who have touched my life and made me more through knowing you, I can only hope that I have left the positive imprint on your life as you have mine.