Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I Need This Train to Breakdown...

When I was traveling in Europe this Spring, I often found myself willing the any train I was on, to slow down and let me off. Let me go explore the small towns we were passing, let me soak it all in, let me just be a little more and a little different than before.

Back in the city, after a few days in Georgia with my family and a lovely holiday with good friends, I find myself asking for the train to break down once again, and let me off for a bit. The activity of a life lived intensely is catching up with me. I am tired. I want one less thing on my to-do list. I want one less person I need to please. I want one less email or text or phone call to send.

I notice that I go through the spells a few times a year. Before I hated them... 'Slow down? Que pasa?" But I now I relish in them. Its these times that my extroverted self will slow down and watch the world vs. being what the world is watching. Nights at home, or mornings sleeping in become the norm vs. up at 6AM and to the gym, or out all night and still up at 6AM. I do wear myself out sometimes.

I am thankful that one of these 'retrogrades' are on the horizon, just as I have three weeks off from the office. It couldn't come at a better time. I need to retreat from the world for a bit and get lost in my own little world. Yep, I really do need this train to breakdown and let me wander for a bit.