We are who we are.

Lately (as in this week), I have found myself being more observant than before --tuning in, watching what goes on around me, and DOING less. For once, I feel like I can watch the people in my life with zipped lips, soaking up their actions and words like a sponge, while quietly analyzing the meaning -- if there is one.

Its been interesting, as I have been able to see those close to me in a different light -- almost as if the romantic glow of candles has faded and the harsh florescent lights of the bar have come on. I am happy to report that its not bad, just honest. And sometimes 'honest' is not such a bad thing.

It seems that more often that not, my interaction with people close to me involves less 'made-up' moments -- those when we have crawled out of bed to meet for Saturday AM coffee, or fresh from a work out coated in sweat, watching a hero lose a close-fought tournament and the crummy feeling that brings... All of these are much more 'real', much more honest, much more personal than I have often allowed myself to be. And in its own way that is truly beautiful.

Granted there are moments that are still harsh. Like when friends known for being flakey continue to be that way. Friends who don't bother to call until they are literally on your doorstep. People overestimating how much time they will have to hang out and then the compartmentalized feeling that brings. Friends being passive in making plans, but you know the moment you hand out an invite they are there 159%.

The truth is all the 'negative' things I know about my friends (and myself) don't change. And while the situations around these people may, these characteristics don't change. They are who they are. I am who I am.

Part of the difficulty in relating to others is being able to maintain who you are, while letting them be who they are. Sometimes it is about realizing that this is not about me, its about them being them. Their antics may drive me nuts at times, as I am sure mine do them, but the truth is we want to be in each others lives and we do what we need to do to make that happen.