This morning has brought with it a series of mixed emotions. Cleaning out my email box at Euro - one that has remained the same for the past 5 years - I am flooded with memories of a life lived well in one of the best cities on Earth.
In reading through emails exchanged with friends, glimpsing travel reservations that have taking place, recipes shared in prep for a celebration, and photos taken on various occassions, I am overwhelmed at the life that has been mine in my days here.
This city has been my home, its been my entertainment, and its been my best friend. These streets have witnessed every emotion I have known -- from happiness, to sadness, to excitement to bewilderment. Its all been there. My life has happened here, and I am growing a bit teary eyed at knowing I could be leaving and never coming back.
Given the time spent here, I can safely say moving to New York is my biggest adventure to-date. Being here has helped me find myself, and figure out what I want in life, and in my life. The one thing this city has not provided for me is love. Real love. Not to sound like Carrie Bradshaw, but "real, awe-inspiring, incovenient, all-encompassing, can't live without you love", and that is what I want. Sure I've had 'love' in my life, but none that I wasn't willing to throw back as I knew something better was out there.
While the city never gave me the love I am looking for, it did provide everything I needed in other ways. Challenges to make me stronger. City-streets to wander for hours as I sorted myself out. Experiences that you read about only in magazines. Friends who have anchored-me and yet encouraged me to dream. Mentors who have been inspiring. Diverse cultural offerings to grow my passion for the arts, for food and wine, and the world in which we live. And too many fun memories to count. New York has been so much to me.
But as I told Time Out New York last year, "I want it all". I want all the city provided, plus the real love I seek. I believe I will find it, just not here in these city streets. My journey is leading me past that, and encouraging new directions.
New York taught me what I am, and what I want. And now I must go into the world to find the one thing I want most. I know without a doubt, that will be the biggest and most exciting adventure of my life. And I am more than ready for it to begin.
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