Cleaning Out Complications

As I clean out more and more stuff from my life that I don't want, I realize that there are more than just tangible items that need to be cleaned out as well.

This morning I took three huge bins of trash and unwanted items to the trash heap in my new building. And as I cleaned out those items from my apartment last night I thought a little too much about the men of March, April and May, and realized I needed to do some clearing out there too. Static energy is just not good for the soul, so I had to shake it up and get those thoughts just as organized as my closet.

Part of this "reorganization" stems from wanting to find a path forward vs. swimming in circles with thoughts from the past few months.

One of the greatest lessons of life from my travels, is that good relationships are easy. It doesn't take much to relate to those we care about and want to relate too. The difficulty comes in the personal expectations we establish, the life situations that arise, the occasional confusion that comes from communication going awry. But overall, relating should be easy. Or at least that is what I have discovered recently.

However getting back to the city returned me to a overly complicated situation, and fresh off the plane I could not make heads or tails with the signals I was getting. So I just stopped trying to figure it out. Complicated things tend to only get more complicated, and I wasn't signing up for that non-sense again.

As I think about relating and a fun summer in NYC, I like that I have a blank canvas to play with. And while I am not so sure I would welcome a full-on relationship right now, I am always looking for someone to play with. (I say this in the most innocent sense -- well, mostly.) Light and easy is my mode these days.

I think the one thing I crave right now -- other than Tasti-D-lite is a constant dialogue with someone. Most would call this a relationship, but for me its something a bit more specific. Dialogue is about two-way communication. You can't have a dialogue if one person is not participating. Dialogues are more constant, more aware, more meaningful. Yes, its conversing, but in a dialogue you are never left talking to yourself...someone always responds. When you reach out, they reach back. Should the other's world be a bit overbearing and he can't get reach back, they say that...simply.

For this reason, I have realized I am not, and don't like to be, a casual dater. If I am dating someone casually, then most likely, I don't really like them. Period. When I meet someone I like I want to immediate get the dialogue going and test the potential.

Therefore, I am not someone who sits around and comes to the conclusion that "i want a relationship", I find someone that I want to spend time with, and I do. Its simple. When I tire of it, I take a break, and sometimes come back to it, and sometimes not. I don't think relationships have to complicated in that way.

And yet so many people want to turn relating into a three-ring circus, with clowns and drama, and maybe an occasional elephant in the room. I just don't understand the point. With so many games and acrobats, how can you really relate to another person? How can it have any element of realness to it, or truth?

As I think about the past month, and the words that started my little romantical adventure with 'S'..."Guapisima, I like you." So simple. So sincere. So very 's'. That's all it took, and the dialogue began, so simply and complication-free.

Its those complication-free situations I seek. The ones that start simply. The ones that make you smile from a good place, without wondering what is really going on. The one where you can exchange info, and know you will hear from them. The ones that at the end of the day will always make you smile because someone wants to know you, someone wants you to know him, and someone really wants to have a dialogue...with you.