Clarity

There are things in life we just know. Last week, I knew in my heart of hearts that something was going to happen to allow me to stay in New York beyond August. I knew the plans I had made would happen - maybe in a different way than originally planned - but they would happen.
The news from the office last Friday, while slightly different than expected, was very much what I thought I would hear. The euphoria of having my wish come true (and my intuition prove correct), led to a fantastic weekend spent with friends celebrating the fact that I had gotten what I wanted.

As the weekend came to a close, Friday's news seemed to bring another series of hurdles regarding my new role, and whether or not it will be temporary or not. That question is really up to me. I grappled with this all night, as I packed up my apartment to move to a temporary setting through August.

And this morning, as I woke to storm clouds and rain pouring outside my answer and headed to the gym amongst people dressed in black and typing fiercely on their blackberries. 'I don't want that', I heard myself saying.

Throughout my workout, all I thought about was Spain. My pending travels, my past happy times, and the question of not knowing when or how I was going to get there. And as I wrote back to a friend who was asking if her sister to could crash with me for a few days as she is moving to NYC tomorrow... The single act that brought me to New York, seven hears ago, hit me full force --I simply went. I knew I needed to be in NYC, and I went. I bought a one-way ticket, and I went. No job. No place to live. No friends or family. No nothing. And it all came together in ways I could not imagine.

When I got to Sevilla at the end of March, knew I had to live there. Not at some random, unknown point of my life, but NOW. When the year ends, that is meant to be my new home. I know that single fact just as clearly as I know its pouring buckets outside and I am wearing silver flip-flops. I know that is my next home. I know that is where I want to be, for me.

'Knowing' answers the question posed by my office. I am moving to Spain at the end of the year, if they want to send my new role with me, good for them (and me). But if not, then I will figure it out... Somehow, someway I will.