One Life

This morning I did something that many people would tell me not to do... ever. I cleaned out my work email. Scary stuff, right?

The work part -- not so scary. I could delete and demolish there.

Its the little folder marked 'Pre-2009' that I decided to tackle, although I saved it for last. In it were files from the wedding that was supposed to take place in April of this year, all of the events that go along with tying the knot, and last but not least, every email I had ever exchanged with my ex and his family.

Its crazy, but deleting here wasn't as complicated or painful as I thought it would be. There were some funny things that made me laugh. Cute things that made me remember. Sad and angry bits that did bring up some painful feelings. And loads of insanity that more than reminded me why I left in the first place. It took less than 30 minutes to go through it all, and then I could delete the 'Pre-2009' folder. There was nothing in it.

There were a few things I held onto -- legal contracts, photos, etc. -- but most I tossed. What I kept, I merged in with my other folders that I usually use every day. This act alone was symbolic to me, because I am one person with one life and I should file those life experiences in one set of folders. I had a great life prior to 2009, and is shown from fun emails with friends and family I found when cleaning out those folders.

My life didn't just start this year. It did get turned around, and back on track, and seems amazingly better than where I was a year ago before my birthday. But still, all this is still my life... my one life. The one life I have to try and get this thing called 'life' right...if its even possible to do it wrong.

It felt good to bring all my experiences --happy, sad, lovely, amazing, cheerful, painful -- together into one place. Because that is where I am. Here, in one place.