Keeper of the Zoo

When people ask me what I do professionally, I often don't know what to tell them. At a cocktail party on New Years, I told someone I was the "Queen of Part-time Jobs," which made a lot of sense given my knack for getting paid for my passions on the side. Into this category falls mystery-shopping, tarot reading, TAing, and subletting. But what I do on a daily basis often is undefineable, because I do a little bit of a lot, or as my boss says "whatever comes up."

Given an average week at work, my job includes (but is not limited to) the following: recruiting, orientation, training, development, counseling, event planning, employee relations, internal communications, programing, research, surveying, and budgeting. Seeing all these things in action could befuddle most, given the hoops and ladders I must get through to get done what must get done. Sometimes I simply have to laugh at what I call work, because most of the time it really is fun, and I can't believe I get paid to do what I do. The other times I have to close my door and scream as quietly as possible because it seems like I work in a zoo, or something like that. Here's why...

1) There are giraffes. These are the people that are so busy thinking up "blue sky ideas" that they can't begin to see the little things (read timelines, deadlines, budgets) that keep their ideas from coming to life.

2) There are lions. These are the people that sit around roaring all day, about not much, but they make a lot of noise and scare the hell out of the rest of us, but truth betold, they have never bitten anyone.

3) There are rhinos. These are the people who take up space. They don't budge. They sit there. They are not funny. They do not say anything remarkable. They drink up all your favorite softdrink. Complain about work constantly. But don't do anything about their issues, and feel they need to make it yours.

4) There are parakeets. These are the colorful people of the office who come to work dressed to the 9's and sit around looking pretty all day. They are slightly more productive than rhinos, but mostly spend alot of time applying make-up, and primping in the bathroom.

5) There are bees. These people get things done. They buzz, buzz, buzz all day. They don't have time to see the world around them, but you can guarantee they have checked everything off their to-do list.

6) There are pigs. (these are my personal favorite to watch) They show up at any office social function, not to be social, but to take all that comes with a social function, i.e, food, drink and anything else that could be seen as "free". When food is served, they act like they haven't eaten in a week. Some take 2 plates. Some ignore the suggested small hors d'oevres plate and go for the big picnic size plate. Some take a plate and hoard it in their office. Some wrap it in a separate container and put their name on it for lunch the following day. Some ignore the food line all together and go behind the counter to sneak food from the unopen containers hoping to sneak the best selection.

And then there are people like me, who fall in some other category of which I am not sure. We see the actions of all the above, but keep to our task at hand, trying to make the work place a bit tolerable for everyone. I can't help but laugh at what I witness on almost a daily basis. These people, moments and situations all add up and all add to who I am. And given the chance I wouldn't change my job, because at the end of the dayI really do like it -- no matter how many pigs, giraffes or rhinos I put up with. At the end of the day I leave this place feeling like I am more, and I have made a difference to someone -- and regardless of my title, that's a pretty nice feeling to have.