Tonight, as I packed the belongings I will carry with me to Europe into a 20X11X14 bag (with wheels!) I felt as if I was packing myself inside. And since they are my things and what I will wear for the next 65 days, I guess it is me... But the act itself was symbolic. And for the first time, and maybe the last, I am ready to leave New York. At least for now.
Its time for me to be away from the place I love most. To be away from some of the people I love most. To be away from everything I have come to consider 'home'... and simply get back to me.
The person who wakes up at God knows when (some obnoxiously early hour), who craves early morning coffee and equally alert conversation, who is amazed by the people I meet everyday, and tries to tread lightly on the world... leaving a imprints and not scars. The one who can cry or laugh at the drop of a hat simply because that is how I feel, and can simply be authentic... without pretenses or falsities.
I don't know how well I have been at being the best version of myself these days. Honest - yes. Best version -- not really. And that is what I want to get back to. Being fully present, being fully me. Being fully aware of the imprints I leave.
The one thing that the past 65 days has brought me is fun times, good friends and lots of drinks. Moments of revelation, memorable people, and lots of saying la vie to what was going to be my life.
And now... I want to be here now. For this is where its at. Back in my old building... yet, ready to try something new. I am ready to get lost in the world... ready to be in place that doesn't speak my language or even want to...ready to go and just be me where nothing else is expected of me.
So here I go...16 hours and counting...my long awaited adventure will soon begin. And truly, I will get the chance to finally get back to me.
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